Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Be Gentle with Yourself

Hey friends! It's been a hot minute since we've done an outfit post but with the fall back it's even harder to squeeze those outfit photos in. It gets dark soooooo early!  Plus, I'm first to admit I turn into even more of a hermit when its cold outside.  I'm all about quilts and cat cuddles this time of year. 
Anyway, this time we want to talk a little about being gentle with yourself. 

As a teen I idolized B. Spears, therefore maintaining a size 0 was my number one goal so I could rock those low riders without sporting a muffin top. I did more crunches than I ever want to admit to.  During that age range I felt very self conscious about my smallish chest, an issue that couldn't be changed no matter what steps I took in my personal life short from surgery which I'm personally not into.  Now we are living further into the "Kardashian Society" and having crazy accentuated curves and highly contoured make up is where it's at.  The only way for me to appear "curvy" is to wear the highest waisted jeans known to man and I still don't come off super curvy.  Forget contouring - I'll never figure that out, just like I'll never figure out how to tame my messy waves. 
My point is styles are always evolving and changing and it's hard to keep up with everything.  Personally, I've always felt like the least cool kid in the room no matter how hard I try to keep up with the changing fashion and styles of the times.  I always feel like I'm a step behind the cool kids.

Being gentle towards yourself is hard.  You will always be your own worst critic and you definitely have to find what works best for you in ways of empowerment.  When I started on my fitness journey last year, I discovered I do really well with words of affirmation which is basically of fancy way of saying "TALK NICE TO YOURSELF".  I remind myself of my attributes and that people value more from me than how my hair looks and what clothes are on my body.  I remind myself that I'm a crafty ass bitch who can make Sailor Moon costumes for 7 year olds, who can make a crap ton of delicious mini pies for Thanksgiving, who can figure out how to dry wall an ENTIRE room with no experience, who can and has made a gazillion quilts, who has great pop culture knowledge and a dark sense of humor, and who co-runs their own fucking blog and book club.  I don't even need to see a picture of the person I'm describing to know she's probably the coolest person in the world.

For me, referring to myself as BeyoncĂ© once a day is usually enough to instill some confidence in myself.  It helps to get me out of my obsessive loops of self loathing or wishing this or that was different about my appearance or that I was more gifted with a make up brush or styling wand.  It also helps that this is one of my favorite outfits of all times and overalls instantly make me feel like myself.

{This is probably the best my hair has ever looked}

Overalls {Forever 21} / Bodysuit {Forever 21} / Booties {Qupid} / Pinsss {The Pink Samurai}

Do you ever feel like things look one way in your head and then another when you actually do them? I think that was the case for me with these photos. We took these after a long day of crafting the girls Halloween costumes (we really need to be better about taking photos!) and I had imagined these one way in my head and my gut reaction when editing them was not great. 

I thought my hair looked weird, the shirt was kind of twisted in most photos so you couldn't always see what it said, I thought I looked bigger than I felt. All kind of this blah feeling. Then I realized how easy it was to fall into these negative thought patterns. Part of it might be that my body related anxiety is through the roof recently with wedding dress shopping on the horizon, but I want to be gentle with myself. 

Gentleness, to me, is reminding myself that all of the things I'm wearing are my favorite things. This shirt from Everyday Unicorns is so great I bought it in two different styles. The cardigan is the softest thing I own, my jeggings make me feel like a curvy badass, and my booties are my trusty go to. While I'm not always going to love my body in photos, I can reframe my thoughts and reactions in a more helpful light. I do think the advice to talk to yourself like you would a friend is pretty solid.

I feel like this year I've really struggled with my body image/body acceptance and it's the reason it comes up so frequently when we do outfit posts. I know I'm not alone in the struggle and writing my feelings out tends to help me see them from another angle. I'm proud of my body and the things I'm wearing. I just need to remember it's ok to be gentle every now and then. 

Outfit Details 
Cardigan {Target} / Tee Shirt {Everyday Unicorns} / Jeggings {AE} / Booties {Target

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